Self love is the acceptance of all that you are and all that you are destined to be. It is being honest with yourself about every aspect of your life. It is holding yourself accountable when you fall short, and with a pure heart being able to assess the pitfalls in your plans to correct the issue.
Here is the thing: you might not have been born into self love. You may have entered the world in the folds of a generational cycle of self deprecating behaviors carried out by those around you. That’s not your problem, and you can not love them right. Getting to an unconditional love of oneself is a journey you travel alone. Also, getting to self love is not the end game. It is an active relationship with yourself. It has to be maintained and nurtured just as you would a romantic relationship.
To look yourself in the face and say,”I love myself in the midst of my mess, and I accept this as a representation of myself even if I am not viewed in the most flattering of lights,” is to be completely in love with yourself.
But you have to do the work. You have to affirm yourself and truly know what it is you desire. Embrace your transformation. Understand your desires. Be prepared to face your other face.
In my own journey, I had to face Divinity: the good, the bad, and the ugly. Acknowledging my best attributes was easy. Learning to really love my body was a bit difficult, but the hardest part of all was accepting my ugly attributes. I had to wallow in my ugly ways for a long while before I accepted it as an integral part of who I was. Once I did the work, the rest was a cake walk.
Here are some of the things I did to get to this place where I love myself.
- Write out affirmations on post-its and put them on your mirror. I know this is so Mary Jane-esque, but it works. Picture your worst morning ever. You’re late. Your hair is acting up, and your outfit is not the best because the laundry has piled up high. As you check your hair for the 40th time, you catch a glimpse of an affirmation that really makes you feel great. You will thank me, later. I promise.
- Date yourself. Set aside time when you do something good for just you. Maybe you never make time for manicures and pedicures, set aside some time to do them yourself or go get them done. Take yourself to a museum or out to a meal. Honestly, at first it feels a bit weird because you are alone doing all these things, but you can definitely drag a friend out with you.
- Nurture yourself. Take a class. Read a book. Learn something new or start a new hobby. Express yourself. Watch yourself grow into someone you are proud to be.
- Write it down! Grab a journal and a pen and document your life. Your story is the most import story you know. Don’t wait for someone else to write a biography about you, write your own autobiography. Only you know all your details.
- Be kind to yourself when you mess up. As long as no one was hurt in the process, do not beat yourself up about not knowing what the “right” thing to do consists of at all times. You will live. Learn from the experience, but don’t dwell on that one mistake.
- Above all else, listen to yourself. You know yourself better than anyone else. That little voice in your head is always talking anyway, why not listen when you feel strongly, whether good or bad?
If you don’t follow any other advice in this post, remember this: knowing and loving yourself is the greatest investment you can make. Go all in on yourself and I promise you will always hit the jackpot!